“Siblings will follow into the abyss of life.”- Anonymous.
While you’re nursing your newborn and feeling the bliss of motherhood, you must be wondering whether or not you’re going to use these convenient nursing clothes ever again? In case you’re planning on having a brother or sister for your newborn, we present few facts regarding siblings and their ideal age difference.
We know that we should wait 30 minutes between eating and swimming, put out the rubbish every week and go to the dentist twice a year. However, how long or short a gap should we put between having children?
There are various theories on the ideal spacing of babies. Some feel it’s too exhausting to have children back to back, while others say it’s a great idea as the difficulty pays off later when two infancies end almost simultaneously.
Having a very small age gap can cause the bad health of the mother. Then there’s stress. Professional to taking care of two or three babies can become hectic. With longer gaps, older children often get embarrassed by the news of their mother being pregnant, because they are already studying to a higher standard.
In terms of health implications, both short and longer age gaps pose potential problems. Studies have shown that waiting 2 to 4 years after the birth of your last child is ideal for the age gap for the next one.
It’s been found an age gap of between two and four years often produces the less sibling rivalry.
However, it’s not just the age gap that determines the quality of sibling relationships. The best thing is, if you have a choice, is to wait until you feel you can cope with what you have now before you start planning to increase the demands of being a parent.
Generally speaking, the closer in age your children are, the harder work it is in the early months and years. It is definitely do-able, but having children very close together is stressful. The support that you have has a significant impact on your stress levels and parenting, too. For example, the mothers of twins or close siblings are at higher risk of postnatal depression. The payoff comes when the children are older, as they will hopefully play together and amuse themselves, and looking after them is less work for you.
For some parents, it takes a few years before they feel emotionally ready to have another baby. Other couples plan a long gap as they believe it allows their children to be individuals, while for others with fertility issues or health problems it just works out that way. A longer gap of three years or more means you’ll be back caring for a baby just when it seems like you’ve started to get the hang of parenthood. On the other hand, you may feel like you’ve had a good break from the breastfeeding and sleep deprivation, and are ready to do it again.
Waiting until your child is older and in preschool, or school, can make it easier for a second-time mum to spend more quality time with each child without feeling like she’s constantly under pressure.
While an age gap of 2 to 4 years means your child is not getting much older play buddy or not too young one. They can mingle with each other very well. Also giving you the time to breathe and get ready for the second or a third one. You can always try out your stylish nursing clothes this time and show off your style. Then when you plan for the next time for a baby you can wear them then too.